Back from a (very long) break!

The last time I blogged was June 8, 2015.  Funny thing? I gave birth this year on June 8, 2016. I realized this a few weeks ago and wow, how much changes in a year!


What I didn't blog about at that time was that emotionally I wasn't in a great place. I wasn't thrilled about turning 30, I really wanted to be pregnant, and I wasn't about to admit that I knew I was starting to eat my feelings again (old habits die hard!)  Exercise was at the bottom of my list of things I wanted to do, so it became less and less.  I stopped blogging because that summer was really hard on me. I wasn't myself. I let exercise go, I stopped looking so closely at the calories I was consuming. I put on a few pounds. Nothing dramatic but 5lbs in a few months, after losing so much, was a big deal in my mind which just made me feel worse. Rinse and repeat.

One of my primary goals when I lost weight years ago was to try and limit complications due to my weight/size when I became pregnant. To be healthier before bringing another person in the world both for myself and that unborn child, whomever he or she was. Turns out, it wasn't as easy to get pregnant for me as they had told us in health class (though for some people it is so, stay safe out there!)

September 2015 we found out I was pregnant and we were going to have a baby! (To say I was excited is an understatement!) That's also when I found out I was battling thyroid dysfunction. It explained so much and once my doctor got that balanced, I felt like myself again. Well, aside from the little human who made me sicker than I've ever been for those next 16 weeks! It turns out that all the weird things I'd been feeling since I lost all the weight I did years before, though it never came back in my blood work until I was pregnant, was all due to an undiagnosed thyroid problem. I can't begin to explain in words how relieved I was and how validated I felt after years of trying to figure out why I didn't feel quite right and finding out in fact it wasn't all in my head.

I did continue to exercise until I was 8 months pregnant. I stuck to the gym until about 7 months. Then I became a bit too wobbly for exercise machines and weights so I moved onto Aquafit for my 8th month (yay for weightlessness.)  By 9 months, all I really could do was walk... and that I did a lot of! I gained around 30lbs over the course of my pregnancy. I lost it all really quickly too (thanks to that crazy thyroid!) I will confess, after losing so much weight watching those pounds creep up was hard, worth it, but much harder than I anticipated. 

Then Jacqueline came into the world and I did a heck of a lot more walking. Sometimes to avoid cabin fever but, eventually, she would only nap in her stroller which meant I walked multiple times a day, everyday to make sure she got sleep (and it's amazing how important sleep becomes once you have a baby. Sleep = life!) Walking was my life this summer. Even some days when it was 42 degrees Celsius out!

Now that Jacqueline naps in her crib and isn't dependent on me to push that stroller I'm walking less and frankly, it's getting colder and I hate the cold which means, I don't want to be outside as much. I would prefer to just hibernate. Jeff has been encouraging me to get back to the gym because it used to be a big part of my life but that was mostly met with "I'm not ready" and "I'm too tired" (which were both completely true!) for months. Recovery from giving birth is real and it's hard and women are superhuman. The exhaustion is also a harsh reality. He however stepped up the "You should consider going back, you'll enjoy it" mantra the last week or two. That was met with a lot of "No" and attitude from me, but truth be told, I really had no excuse anymore. So yesterday I went to the gym. I had some choice words about it before I left the house. Jeff got to hear all of it. But I went. I did a 40 minute work out. My legs felt like jello afterward. I'm not in as much pain today as I imagined I would be. Carrying around a baby also really does help your upper body strength as I learned at the gym... well the baby and all the baby gear!

Oh, and I now realize why mom jeans became a thing and I'm so glad they've become more fashionable. Mummy Tummy is a fact of life. Your abs go through quite the transition and they just don't look the same post birth.  I'm breastfeeding so, losing a few extra pounds isn't going to be my priority right now. I am just going to slowly get back into regular exercise and hopefully get back to just being and feeling healthier.  In the meantime, I admit I purchased a pair of Old Navy's high waisted jeans. They just make everything look smoother and I love them.