Back at it... for real this time!

It's been awhile friends. 

I wasn't sure if I'd pick up my blog again for my weight loss victory lap this time. I tried to pick this up (blog.. weight loss... all of it) a couple of times over the last few months but ending up falling off the wagon for one reason or another. But now I've decided why not blog, I enjoyed it the first time around and it's always good to get it out there. 

Where do I even start? How did this happen? Can I blame pregnancy? Did I just get lazy? Did I stop caring about the number on the scale?

Really what it comes down to for me was that getting pregnant, carrying the baby, delivering, breastfeeding, and weaning. It takes a toll on your body, it took a major toll on mine. 16 months postpartum and I'm still not at 100%.  This is something I significantly underestimated before getting pregnant. I'm sure many women do, and I know that I'm not alone with where I am in this.

Full disclosure, by the time I got pregnant I was already up 7lbs from my lowest weight but I was actually okay with that. I felt good, I felt like I could enjoy life, food, the occasional glass of wine, a bowl of ice cream. I could get to the gym enough. I was in a good place, it was a happy weight for me. It was a weight I didn't have to constantly think about.

Then came pregnancy. I gained 32lbs which was actually totally within the range of normal, I did well, no regrets there. 4 weeks postpartum and I was only up a couple pounds, and shortly after that I was back go my pre-pregnancy weight (not body, ha, that will never come back. Hello mummy tummy!) Maybe the crux of it is that I had 6 months of breastfeeding where I could literally eat what I wanted and not gain a pound and it was a glorious glorious time. Something I had never had the joy of experiencing in my entire life. 

Then the last 8 months I breastfed, well, Jackie was obviously eating real food and nursing but, nursing less and I just kept on enjoying my buffet. Apparently I forgot that doing that can add on the pounds. I was still as hungry as ever, just not burning calories at the same rate. So I gained some weight. Just about 15lbs. Full disclosure, my thyroid was a bit wonky for awhile and that didn't help either with weight gain.

So just about 30 days ago, I decided I wanted to lose these pesky 15lbs by Christmas. Honestly, it's not so much about the number but just feeling good in my skin, being able to wear some clothes that feel a bit snug right now.
It can be done, there were enough weeks ahead of me to accomplish it when I set my mind to it. It really feels more challenging now as a mom, than when I did this the first time around. I'm 5 years older, time is more limited and well, all of what I'm about to share next. 

For starters, I'm pretty much exhausted all the time. I can't blame my health, I'm all good now. My thyroid is finally balanced, my iron isn't just teetering on the edge of normal and I can't blame overnight sleep as 99% of the time I have a magical unicorn of a sleeping child (except when she's teething, those are bad nights, ha!) But, going back to work with the daily grind of commuting and working and then having a whole second full time job with the little at home leaves nothing in the tank. I tend to stay up later than I should because my body finds it impossible to sleep longer than 7 hours now and I also really need time to unwind. When you're tired, you just want to eat what's easy and easy isn't usually the best option. 

On top of that, there isn't the option to just "pop over to the gym" whenever the mood strikes me (Okay, let's be honest, the mood never strikes me but sometimes I feel more energized to go than others.) Weekends seem to me my jam and we've joined a sparkling new gym, LA Fitness, with a pool, and that pool is where I spend most of my exercise hours. 

MyFitnessPal is harder than it was before. Not sure why but it is.  Either way, I've been back on MFP now for 30 days. I've logged everything. Most days have been good. I'm thankful for my Fitbit and how it can accurately adjust my calories for the day based on how much I've been moving, making things a little bit more accurate than my first rodeo. Why must food be so delicious?

I haven't weighed myself in a couple of weeks but, last check I was down 2lbs. The plan is to keep pushing and try to get as close to that 15lbs as I can by Christmas. I've done it before, and I can do it again, it's just going to take a little extra self motivation, and a little less "me" time. I know what you're thinking reading this "but exercise is me time." For me it's not. Exercise isn't my favourite thing to spend my time doing so I don't consider it "me" time, it's a chore like laundry or unloading the dishwasher. I wish I was an exercise fanatic, I've certainly tried to become one over the years. I'm just happy to have found a pool. If I need to exercise, that's my preferred way to do it. 

If you're on MyFitnessPal come find me (StephieClay). We can motivate each other to stay on track!