Finding a Balance

Let's start today's blog posting on a positive note, I've always wanted a red jacket.  There was a sale on at Old Navy this weekend and I got this jacket for next to nothing.  The positive news is I have gone down two jacket sizes which is great. Jacket shopping was a much more depressing shopping experience for me in the past than jean or bathing suit shopping because nothing fit right or was remotely flattering.

Full disclosure, I have been debating taking a break from this strict dieting.  My biggest fear however is that I will put weight back on. Even as it is with eating 3500 calories less per week (plus being an additional 1500ish calories under that every week) there are weeks where I lose nothing at all.  I also know that getting into a place where I can maintain is a journey in itself where you slowly add calories back in so your body and metabolism is used to the extra energy again.

These last 12 pounds are not going to be easy to lose, nor has it been easy up to this point, but it is definitely getting far more challenging with each passing week. Both mentally and physically.

The problem is two fold. My mental state with this diet is pretty rocky and it has been for over a month.  I'm tired of thinking of every single thing I put in my mouth but when I try not to think about it, it's still in my mind.  I do auto calculations of menus at restaurants which makes me feel like a weirdo but, maybe that's the point so I continue to make the right choices when I'm done this whole thing.  Honestly right now I'm at the point that when I'm hungry, I want to reach for a snack (a healthy one!)  but my calorie counter doesn't allow for that. I am far too disciplined to routinely go over my calories. This got me thinking... am I eating enough? Does it balance out with the level of exercise I'm doing? 

The weeks where I thought there was no chance I was going to lose weight because I cheated too much (i.e. took a chunk of my calories and let myself eat treats),  I ended up losing a pound or more. The weeks where I am far below my goal targets I barely lose.  From the reading I've done, this could be the problem. Maybe I really am just not eating enough and my body is getting pretty irritated with me.  My goal for the next couple of weeks will be to eat to my calorie goal every single day, see if that gives my metabolism the jump start it needs.  I may also avoid the scale for a few weeks so I stop focusing on the number and start focusing on my health and fitness because ultimately, that is what matters and that is what it is about.

One thing is for sure, losing weight is not for the faint of heart....every day you battle but there is no better feeling than achieving the goals you set out for yourself!